Golfers, tee me off

Anyhow, sometimes, just those little extras, like taking the time to smell the lawn, after you cut it, makes all the difference, and even though it took a smidgen of height from the grass, its really no worse for wear. Besides, golfers, unlike fisherman, are the only ones who truly care how long grass actually is. Fishermen just want the grass mowed and that's done on a Saturday made for fishing, not chasing a little white ball until it finally drops in a hole, a hole by the way, with no fish in it.

Well in fishing, unlike rule making, score keeping golfers, who just happen to fish with me occasionally use two little extras, a lot of golfers like to use, and in my humble opinion, abuse. First one is a tape measure; the second is a scale for weighing fish.

I caught a whopper last evening on a fly rod, a fish that had a 15 inch girth, weighed a snitch over nine lbs and went 28 and one eight inches on the tale of the tape. It was bigger than that in my head, before my par nine buddy decided, we had to size it up, forever. He even had his mother view the post mortem of measuring so he had a witness.

All that darn empirical data made what I thought then, and what I still think today, is to only decrease the size of one really fat, thick, long, pink sided trout. If he wouldn't have measured that trophy trout in every human way possible, by this Friday night, I could have stretched that bugger to over ten pounds no sweat. I mean what's one pound give or take a few ounces, heck it's a blade of grass here or there, besides, I was just going to improve my lie, something they do it all the time, and 30 inches in length by Saturday morning would have been no problem, not there was anything inferior with what I caught in the first place mind you but taking a trout of that size and given it a little bit of fishing salt would have added some real flavor to what has been less then lengthy in my large trout catching of late.

I‘ve been catching a fair amount of trout of late, he's been catching one bigger every time we’ve been out, so to keep his score card intact, he keeps tacking my hide to the wall with fish facts I just cant argue and he's holding my score card.

If I catch three fish, and he gets two, sure enough one of his will be bigger than any of mine and we all know bigger is better, well except those dang golfers where lower numbers are better. So I’m not letting him measure my fish anymore this year. From now on, it's my word, against his wonder. The trout whisperer