Baiting deer is illegal, in Hunting Stories

So about a week ago I was wandering around my place just listening to the wind shush about my leafless trees when I’m pretty sure I heard one of my apple trees tell the rest of the orchard that this yard was heavily browsed upon this summer by to many white-tailed deer, oh and As a general rule, I don't talk to plants, but I do listen to them.

Another rule in Minnesota is you can't hunt deer over, around, downwind, across the street from or next to a store that potentially sells salt or deer bait or within four radial miles from the nearest birdfeeders that spills bird seed. (Check me on the four mile thing, it may be further)

Whoever wrote the law or got the legislation passed was once again trying to protect the deer from unscrupulous lazy non trophy buck deer hunters but The law missed the mark by a wide margin in my opinion because if by chance in the boreal forest, say ten years ago you pile up a bunch of logs, call it a home, add some verdant Kentucky blue grass dappled here and there with apple trees, plum, mountain ash, currents and a quarter acre of raspberry bushes well guess what, deer think those are about the most exotic species in the northern forest.

You can bait fish, mink traps or bear in Minnesota, but oh lordly the trouble you’ll be in if you get caught baiting a deer. All of you know what's gonna break loose and then it will freeze over with your confiscated rifle in it so it's not worth doing.

But that old saying about the grass being greener on the other side of the fence, well I don't have a deer fence, but my yard is the other side. It's the most illegal deer baiting property for miles around. Trails roto tilled with sharp little deer hooves lead back to cedar and ash swamps. These trails don't have any dnr signs, like fat deer crossing ahead, or closed to the easiest deer hunting around, but they all start in my yard.

The trails end back where the fat fed deer nap the day away after digesting most of my rose hips or munched my hosta plants into fresh compost from the deer mouth to the ground without even moving one of their four feet, And Just to keep from getting sued I have a personal property disclaimer, I tell everybody who hunts at my place, that they have to use a ladder stand just so they don't get run over by a semi starved deer headed for my yard.

I was thinking of getting a hold of Doctor Doolittle, who unlike me is considered a specialist to see if he could kinda talk to the tasty animals on my behalf around my place. Maybe tell the deer to stay away, because once again as a general rule I don't talk to animals other than my dog, but maybe he could explain to the deer that there actually making me break the law, if I deer hunt around my house.