How to start a fight

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How to start a fight

Postby adaye » Fri Apr 03, 2009 1:03 pm

HOW TO START A FIGHT!
One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift. The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked him why, he replied, - "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started…
****************************** ****************************** ************
My wife walked into the den & asked "What's on the TV?"
I replied, - "Dust".
And that's how the fight started…
****************************** ****************************** ************
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,
"I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment."
The husband replies, - "Your eyesight's [Please excuse my language... I'm an idiot] near perfect." And that's how the fight started…
****************************** ****************************** ************
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, - "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds."
I bought her a scale.
And that's how the fight started…
****************************** ****************************** ************
I asked my wife, - "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested, - "How about the kitchen?"
And that's when the fight started…
****************************** ****************************** ************
My wife and I are watching 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, - "Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, - "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, - "Yes."
So I said, - "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started…
****************************** ****************************** ************
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
And that's when the fight started…
****************************** ****************************** **************
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
He said, - "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself."
And that's when the fight started...
If guns kill people then pencils mis spell words..
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Postby SJohnson » Fri Apr 03, 2009 3:42 pm

LOL... Nice!
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Postby bowhunter101 » Tue Mar 09, 2010 9:29 am

Lol, those are good
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"If it will, it will and if it won't, it won't"
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Postby bohuntr22 » Tue Mar 09, 2010 8:58 pm

lo classic my wife didnt find any humor in some of them
SHOOT STRAIGHT AND MAY YOUR RUT BE LONG AND HARD

D.O.D
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Postby sqwrly » Wed Mar 10, 2010 11:57 pm

haha these are great, the girlfriend however shot me dirty looks after she asked what i was laughing at and i proceeded to read them out loud. looks like im on the couch tonight
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Re: How to start a fight

Postby ChrtruseMajic » Wed Nov 17, 2010 3:37 am

yea, these are jokes to keep between us men. Women don't like these. I will be keeping these to myself.
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Re: How to start a fight

Postby Ladybowhunter » Sat Feb 19, 2011 7:05 pm

Those are good ones...
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Re: How to start a fight

Postby cptoocool » Fri Feb 24, 2012 10:20 pm

absolutly some of the best. now if i can only remember them
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Re: How to start a fight

Postby StickerKing » Sat Jan 26, 2013 10:38 am

Haha, some quality jokes I haven't heard before.
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