My dad was going through pictures that my grandma had and came across pictures of deer we had taken throughout the years. He also came across something called “The Deer Hunter” it’s funny and my grandma had made a copy of it and put it with our hunting pictures so I thought I would share it with everyone.
Here it is:
01:00 am - Alarm clock rings.
02:00 am - Hunting partner arrives- drags you out of bed.
03:00 am - Throw everything except the kitchen sink in the pickup.
03:05 am - Leave for the deep woods.
03:15 am - Drive back home and pick up gun.
03:30 am - Drive like crazy to get to the woods before daylight.
04:00 am - Set up camp – forgot the tent.
04:30 am - Head into the woods.
06:05 am - See eight deer.
06:06 am - Take aim and squeeze trigger.
06:07 am - “click.”
06:08 am - Load gun while watching deer go over hill.
08:00 am - Head back to camp.
09:00 am - Still looking for camp.
10:00 am - Realize you don’t know where camp is.
Noon - Fire gun for help – eat wild berries
12:15 pm - Ran out of bullets – eight deer come back.
12:20 pm - Strange feeling in stomach.
12:30 pm - Realize you ate poison berries.
12:45 pm - Rescued.
12:55 pm - Rushed to hospital to have stomach pumped.
03:00 pm - Arrived back in camp
03:30 pm - Leave camp to kill deer.
04:00 pm - Return to camp for bullets.
04:01 pm - Load gun – leave camp again.
05:00 pm - Empty gun on squirrel that’s bugging you.
06:00 pm - Arrive at camp – see deer grazing in camp.
06:01 pm - Load gun.
06:02 pm - Fire gun.
06:03 pm - One dead pickup truck.
06:05 pm - Hunting partner returns to camp dragging deer.
06:06 pm - Repress strong desire to shoot partner.
06:07 pm - Fall into fire.
06:10 pm - Change clothes – throw burned ones into fire.
06:15 pm - Take pickup – leave partner and deer in the woods.
06:25 pm - Pickup boils over – hole shot in block.
06:26 pm - Start walking
06:30 pm - Stumble and fall – drop gun in mud.
06:35 pm - Meet bear.
06:36 pm - Take aim.
06:37 pm - Fire gun- blow up barrel plugged with mud.
06:38 pm - Make mess in pants.
06:39 pm - Climb tree
09:00 pm - Bear departs- wrap &;*%$! Gun around tree.
Midnight - Home at last
Next day - Watch football game on TV, slowly tearing hunting license into little pieces – place in envelope and mail to Game Warden with very clear instructions on where to place it.
This made me laugh and I enjoyed reading it. I don’t know where my grandma found it or who wrote it but since it made me smile I thought I would share it with everyone.